


Porn Guy (and the Misadventures of His Neighbor)

by sydneythefriendlyghost



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, GTOP, M/M, Porn, daeri - Freeform, im sorry, porn guy au, what is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5377655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydneythefriendlyghost/pseuds/sydneythefriendlyghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungri really needs his internet back. Because the guy next door keeps stealing his wifi to watch porn. And he just has to go and make it awkward, because that's just who he is. Everyone else thinks he's a little bit stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Porn Guy (and the Misadventures of His Neighbor)

**Author's Note:**

> im gonna post this in two parts, so stay tuned for the next chapter!! i have no excuse for this, honestly, so......enjoy?

**“You steal my wifi to watch porn but it’s okay because I find it kind of hot.” AU  DaeRi**

“The porn guy is at it again.” Seungri mumbled as the video on his laptop slowed down considerably. Youngbae just hummed in response, briefly looking up from his book. Jiyong and Seunghyun both put down their respective papers as well.

“Porn guy?” Seunghyun perked up, one eyebrow raised. Jiyong giggled and hit him in the chest with a short story in editing.

“You weren’t here. Seungri has a neighbor who keeps stealing his wifi to watch porn. We call him Porn Guy now.” Youngbae snorted heavily through his nose. Seungri closed his laptop with a final click.

“It slows my internet speed down so bad, I can’t get any work done.” Without even looking up, Youngbae snorts again.

“Yeah but it’s not like anyone was getting any work done around here but me anyways.” Jiyong squawked from his seat on the couch.

“I am most definitely working. My story is like, two pages from done.” This time everybody laughed except the speaker, who glared around at his friends. “Okay. Three pages tops.” Seunghyun smiled down at the pouting man.

“I have seen you work, and you are not doing it. You are reading my lab and trying to backseat drive my calculations.” Seungri was still staring dejectedly at his computer, while the others joked around him.

“I’m gonna go tell him to stop using my wifi to jerk off.” The room grew quiet so quickly it was nearly ominous.

“What are you gonna say? ‘Please stop using my wifi for porn, I need it for porn, and also school.’”. Jiyong imitated Seungri and made a face, making Youngbae hide a smile behind the back of his hand.

“Yes. Exactly.” A look of horror spread across the older three’s faces in unison.

“Oh my god, Seungri, don’t say that.” Seunghyun mumbled in fear. “I come here so often, your neighbor will associate me with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back again.” He laid a hand backwards across his forehead and swooned dramatically.

“Okay, maybe not that. But I have to tell him I know, I cannot believe this. I have an assignment due at midnight and I can’t turn it in if my internet is slower than Jiyong’s gag reflex.” Jiyong spit out the water he had been drinking and started coughing, red faced and angry. Seunghyun, looked at him and laughed instead of helping him, while Youngbae watched with a mild look of distaste.

“Why do I hang out with you guys?” Seunghyun looked up and smiled at him across the room.

“Because you love us?”

“Rhetorical question, Choi.”

“That’s hyung to you!”

 

Seungri had momentarily abandoned the thought of confronting his neighbor, in favor of insulting his hyungs. But now that it was evening and he was alone, he found himself seriously considering it. On one hand, if he did it, the guy would probably stop. On the other hand, it was an incredibly embarrassing conversation to have and he wasn’t sure he was mentally ready for that. At least, until his wifi slowed to a crawl again when he tried to submit his assignment. Seungri glanced at the clock on his computer screen, which read 10:48 pm.

“Fuck!” He got off his couch and slipped on his shoes by the door. “Now or never.” He mumbled to himself, like that was going to make him feel any better about it. He opened his door and stepped out into the slightly chilly air of the stairwell, stomping to his neighbor’s doorstep. Seungri knocked three times, loudly and rocked back and forth on his toes, suddenly nervous. What if the guy was an asshole? What if-

Of course, when he opened the door, Seungri decided he didn’t care what kind of person he was, because the idea of him stealing wifi to jerk off was suddenly very hot. Actually, the man himself was very hot.

“Um. Can I help you?” Seungri shook his head for a moment.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry. Uh hi. I was wondering...if your internet was working....because mine’s really slow and I can’t submit my homework?” His neighbor brushed shaggy brown bangs out of his eyes and bit his lip a little bit in thought and Seungri felt a twinge in his stomach.

“Uh no, not that I can think of. I don’t use the internet a whole lot.” Seungri smiled but in his head, he whispered quietly, Liar. He realized he said it outloud when the stranger blushed pink and stepped back.

“What?”

“I just...I mean...Um...Areyoustealingmywifitowatchporn?” His neighbor was definitely blushing now, and it was making him blush.

“I, uh, sorry. Sorry.” Seungri blinked, surprised that it was that easy.

“What?” The stranger was biting his lip and it looked like he was threatening to cry, eyes welling up with tears.

“I’m sorry it’s just I have a really stressful job, you know, but it doesn’t pay very much and I couldn’t afford internet, and I knew how to steal wifi because I used to code a lot in highschool and I’m really really sorry.” Seungri now felt like an asshole, as his embarrassed neighbor tried to hide behind the door and make it look like he was not a grown man about to cry.

“Hey hey hey, I’m sorry look I just have to turn in some assignments it’s okay really. I don’t mind that much I’m sorry. Look, I’ll just go back to my house, and you go back inside, and we pretend this never happened okay?” He turned on his heel to leave, not even waiting for a response, when the other reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Wait one sec.” He said, sticking his tongue out of the side of his mouth while he disappeared behind the door. He returned with a sharpie and he uncapped it with his teeth. Holding tightly to Seungri’s arm, he scribbled a series of numbers, ones he presumed belonged to his neighbor’s cell phone. “It’s Daesung. If you. Need. Anything.” The freshly named Daesung smiled sweetly and waved cutely, leaving Seungri floored in the middle of the stairway, with a phone number and a weird feeling of guilt.

 

“Wait. Slow down. You’re telling me you got his number after you almost made him cry?” Jiyong said sleepily into the phone.

“No. Well yeah. Actually that’s pretty much what happened.” Seungri swore he could hear another voice in the background, saying something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Come back to bed.’ Jiyong sighed into the call again, making Seungri feel a bit unwanted.

“Shit Ri, I can’t believe you did that. I bet that guy feels so bad now. You made him cry, you monster.” Before he could protest, he heard Jiyong talking quietly to someone. The voice that replied, clearer this time, was deep and familiar. “Look Ri I’m absolutely exhausted. Call me again in the morning, we can get lunch and you can tell me what a horrible person you are then. ‘kay?” Once more, the unknown voice mumbled something that definitely sounded like ‘We all know he’s a bad person.’

“Seunghyun hyung? Oh my god. Oh my god you weren’t- Oh my god.” Jiyong heaved a breath again.

“No, we were sleeping. Just sleeping.”

“I cannot believe you right now.”

“Go to bed Seungri. You can talk to me about how awful we both are tomorrow. Good night.” He hung up before Seungri could argue the point any further.

 

To be completely fair, Seungri had done a lot of terrible and possibly bad things in his life, just never this, in particular.

“I cannot believe I’m helping you do this.” Seunghyun hissed through gritted teeth as he looked over his shoulder for the 180th time in the last minute. “Seungri this is illegal.” The Seungri in mention looked up and blew white bangs away from his face.

“I know that hyung. I’m well aware that this is illegal.”  Seungri finished shoving magazines into his bag, checking that his friend had done the same. "Okay let's go. Act natural." Seunghyun shot him a look that said he did not know what natural looked like.

To his credit, they made it all the way out of the store before he started running. By the time the two of them arrived at the space where Youngbae was sitting in his car, they were both out of breath and red faced.

“I’m never doing this again, just so you know, because this was a terrible plan.” Youngbae said as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space.

“Jiyong hyung agreed to it!” Seunghyun turned around in his seat to look the youngest in the eye.

“That right there should have been your first clue.” Seungri threw up his hands in a sign of defeat.

“So, I uh, hate to ask, but why were we stealing porn? Like I know you’re into some weird shit Ri but-” The oldest was now looking at the pile of papers in his lap.

“OHH, no these are not for me. These are for my neighbor. Daesung ssi.” Youngbae switched lanes flawlessly as he spoke.

“Are you sure that’s the right honorific? I mean if you’re stealing porn for him-” Seungri reached from the back seat and hit him with a rolled up magazine. “Ah okay! I get it.” The blonde boy sunk lower into his seat, which was barely possible.

“I just need my internet back.”

 

 


End file.
